05.27.18

What was Beautiful:

The tropical lushness, turquoise seas, and volcanic activity of Hawaii.

My new Triumph T-120 motorcycle.

My garden bursting with food and flowers.

What I’ve been up to: 

Wrapped up my project at work and headed to Oregon for Flock to the Rock, but then lost my wallet so turned around and headed home. The next week I went to Hawaii for my yoga retreat, except that the retreat part of it was cancelled so I rented a motorcycle and rode around, did yoga at the beach and went diving. It was alright but I need community and connection more than I need a tropical location and so it proved to be an exercise in discipline and letting go more than a holiday. Next was the purchase of a new motorcycle that I had been considering for the past year and the requisite, immediate road trip to break it in. Looking forward to summer.

What made me Laugh: 

Not much lately, honestly. I have small moments of joy but they are easily overshadowed by the larger anxieties. Still, I delight in the dogs playing in the yard, having dinner with friends and making light of occasional absurdities.

What I’m reading and listening to:

On TRAVEL –

Why we travel.

 

On RELATIONSHIPS –

Psychological Tips to Make Your Marriage Happier

 

On WORK –

Why it’s ok to be bored at work. Boredom is trying to tell you something.

How to keep your bad mood from affecting your work.

How to ramp up quickly

How to handle negative situations at work

A hilarious bonus episode of Revisionist History where Malcolm Gladwell debates Adam Grant loosely about organizational psychology

Walt Disney on how to truly love what you do

 

On MOTORCYCLES –

The Happiness of the Motorcycle

 

On BEING BETTER –

The cure for an anxious, sucky life

A depressive’s guide to microdosing

Why Are we Getting More Depressed?

Being Bored is Good

Redefining Work, Love and Play – find people who want to color outside the lines

Happiness is tangible – “The goal with simple joys is not to crowd or rush them, not to chase or exhaust ourselves or make ourselves sick in overindulgence, but to enjoy them gently — to drink them in fully, but then just as gently put them away.”

5 Ways to Have a Good Life – “You have to commit yourself entirely. You can’t love people half way. You can’t leave important business unfinished. You can’t deliberately half-ass your job or your relationship or any other area of your life because you feel more comfortable when you have one foot out the door. You have to decide what you’re in for and then go all the way with it. You have to realize the freedom and possibility that exists within commitment…Be braver than you feel. Achievement doesn’t come with ease or comfort.”

Being Sober for 21 Days Has Improved My Life

How Social Media Impacts Our Reality

On Midlife – “Midlife is not about the fear of death. Midlife is death. Tearing down the walls that we spent our entire life building is death. Like it or not, at some point during midlife, you’re going down, and after that, there are only two choices: staying down or enduring rebirth.”

Fuck where you see yourself in 3 yearsapropos, as I write my 3-year letter

The new prime suspect for Depression – Ketamine could be our best lead in the hunt for depression.

The power of emotional decision making

It’ll work out for you

 

On FEMINISM –

There are no Safe Spaces for Women

 

On AMERICA –

Why America is the World’s Most Uniquely Cruelest Society – “America is the most cruel nation among its peers — even among most poor countries todayIt is something like a new Rome. It has little, if any, functioning healthcare, education, transport, media, no safety nets, no stability, security. The middle class is collapsing, and life expectancy is falling.Young people die for a lack of insulin they cannot crowdfund. Elderly middle-class people live and die in their cars. Kids massacre each other in schools — when they’re not self-medicating the pain of it all away. The combination of these pathologies happens nowhere else — not a single place — in the world. Not even Pakistan, Costa Rica, or Rwanda. Hence, the world is aghast daily at the depths of American cruelty — yet somehow, they seem bottomless.”

The birth of a new American Aristocracy  – “Family, friends, social networks, personal health, culture, education, and even location are all ways of being rich, too. These nonfinancial forms of wealth, as it turns out, aren’t simply perks of membership in our aristocracy. They define us.”

 

On Writing –

How to be successful

05.08.18

What was Beautiful:

Grey foggy morning light while I walk the dogs (super early these days because of work busyness, flamenco music on repeat while I practice, McMenamin’s Kalama lodge.

What I’ve been up to: 

Finishing up my project at work, finishing levelling the yard, riding to Oregon for International Female Ride Day with my Raven wind sisters (and stopping for McMenamin’s passport stamps at the new Kalama lodge on the way), and now I’m off to Hawaii although it looks like the yoga retreat portion/purpose of the trip may be cancelled due to volcanic activity.

What made me Laugh: 

“Peculiar travel plans are dancing lessons from God,” says Vonnegut and don’t I know it after getting in late to Kalama last weekend (not my final destination) and deciding to stay, getting up early and riding to Astoria only to realize I’d lost my wallet and ride home again after tracing my steps. Now lava is literally bubbling up under my Hawaiian yoga retreat so we’ll see what happens there.

What I’m reading:

How to Make Something People Love

How to Appear Smart in Meetings  😉

Memories of my Analog Childhood

Why it’s ok to be bored at work. Boredom is trying to tell you something.

How to keep your bad mood from affecting your work.

Why can’t we read anymore?

What it means when you hold your phone without using it (and who’s doing it)

100,000 Happy Moments

How to Love without Attachment

Create my Life vs. Life Happens to Me – a “life happens to me” mindset. We all know it’s a powerless state. Throws you into victim mode, turning your life into a choiceless maze. It stunts growth and potential and instead of living, you merely exist. You become a walking shell and define life as something that’s tolerated instead of truly lived.

Here’s what happens. Simply put, we discover pain. We fall off our bikes. We learn that our parents are flawed. Our friends hurt us, on purpose. We discover unhealthy love that confuses and crush us. Unexpected tragedies occur constantly. We get evicted. We lose jobs. Get into accidents. Break bones. People disappoint us. Hate us. Lie to us. We disappoint ourselves. We go through breakups. Our kids leave the house and we have to finally look at our marriage and ourselves. People we love get sick. All of this. Over and over again. And we fight. We do our best to stay positive and in the game of life. But after years and years and years of “suffering”, life takes its toll. We start to believe we have no power. Life happens to us. And we decide to stay down.
Instead of wanting more from life, we just want to survive. We learn to bare it. Life is no longer about creating. It’s about surviving. We tolerate instead of live. We get into lukewarm relationships. We numb ourselves with junk food and television. We hide. We become afraid. We don’t trust life anymore. Our walls come up. We create our own prison.”
Passio— suffering. A passion is simply what you are willing to suffer for. It might be family. Art. Literature. Discovery. It doesn’t matter, it matters why — as all things that give us meaning do. If we suffer for it — not by force, but freely, by choice, with a sense of abandon, even celebration, it will mean something to us. Not because it “makes us stronger”, but because it teaches us what human fragility is.”

05.01.18

What was Beautiful:

My lilac tree bloomed overnight! Which was nice because the rest of the yard is still a mud pit while I level it out and re-sod it. Getting ready for garden parties!

What I’ve been up to: 

Working, and working in the garden, then curling up and watching a lot of movies…Ferdinand, Molly’s Game, I, Tonya and Ready Player One will be up soon.

What made me Laugh: 

Riley, trying to grab a cookie that bounced off her nose.

What I’m reading:

How forgiving yourself and others changes your brain

Getting more done by doing less

Love is binary

The subtle art of connecting with anyone. “There is nobody you can’t learn to like once you’ve heard their story.”

How to know what you want

Fuck finding your passion.

Great relationships – 1 in 4 people in a study said they had no one to talk with. Two thirds of Americans say they’ve lost more than 90% of the friends they had 10 years ago. Many Americans can only claim to have 2 close friends — maybe less.

How to deal with annoying coworkers and the job

On manholding and emotional labour