Spring (break)

Long Beach

Certainly somewhere girls were going wild last week but I spent my spring break being relaxed and restored; surfing, sleeping, diving reading, walking in the woods and on the beach. I had a trip planned to go surfing in Tofino with some girlfriends that got extended into a dive trip to Barkley Sound with some personal time at the Black Rock in Ucluelet in between. Spoiled, right? I know. I often lament that I don’t spend enough time exploring B.C. and in a way that seems laughable because more than anyone I know, I am the one who will hop in a car and head to Cape Scott (just to see what’s there) and who has stopped to fill up my motorcycle at most of the small towns within a day’s riding distance. But where I excel at going, I lack at sitting and soaking. Holidays for me are a time to see all the things there are to see, and then write about them on the train to the next place. This drove me nuts when I was a kid, that we would vacation over and over again in the same place and stay for weeks at a time, but it’s come to be something I appreciate and it feels good to settle in to some of the places that I’ve been visiting for a long time (starting with Seattle) and settling in a bit farther into myself too.

Good friends

Spring means ducks and bunnies and flowers and rain and enough cat hair in my apartment to make an entire second cat but of course it also means new life. The Persian new year celebrates spring and renewal and I just think that makes so much more sense than trying to be resolute and rejuvenated in the middle of winter when everything is dead. I may adopt it. I LOVE spring and inevitably I change my Facebook picture to the one of me playing in the cherry blossoms and post something about the world being mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful and run around all giddy, but I found this quote recently that I just love:

“Spring, spring! Bytuene Mershe ant Averil, when spray biginneth to spring! When shaws be sheene and swards full fayre, and leaves both large and longe! When the hounds of spring are on winter’s traces, in the spring time, the only pretty ring time, when the birds do sing, hey-ding-a-ding ding, cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-wee, ta-witta-woo! And so on and so on and so on. See almost any poet between the Bronze Age and 1805.”
-George Orwell, Keep the Aspidistra Flying

because everyone loves spring!

Sunset

And you could see it on the island. There were many people out on the beach and in the waves, shedding winter. The goats weren’t on the roof in Coombs yet but the dogs were bounding up and down the beaches, full of joy and later in the week I saw grey whales on their migration north, a black bear out of hibernation and a transient mother orca with her calf.

Wild Pacific Trail

Surfing in Tofino felt like summertime, it was so nice out and we had a beautiful cabin with a hot tub and filled it with great people and lots of wine. I didn’t realize that it had been so long since I was surfing last and I was quickly reminded that I’m out of surfing shape but surfing is one of the only activities where you can have fun no matter how good you are. Even just bobbing in the water in the sun, it feels like a great day. But I decided take a lesson a few days later and not only was that very educational but my instructor was great and we had a fantastic time in the surf. We even saw a grey whale breaching.

Birch

Then the weather turned stormy and I sat on my deck at the Black Rock (or in the hot tub) watching waves pound the rocks over and over again. I read my books and wrote. I also tried to work in a hotel room without a desk but just never mind that, the rest of the week was great. I was hoping to be able to dig deep and think about some things on the horizon; my acceptance into grad school and the MDM program and how that would shake out with our move to Seattle and Adience, an art project I’m working on, etc. but all I realized was how burnt out I am. Whenever I tried to think about what I wanted to do, all that came to mind was surfing and diving (because I am almost never too tired for that), making bread and reading and walking dogs. So more resting is on the horizon, as well as a puppy.

Bamfield

For stage 3 of the adventure, I went to pick up Talia from Nanaimo so that we could go diving in Barkley Sound. When I was hiking around the Wild Pacific Trail in Ucluelet, I realized just how close we were to Bamfield (16 nautical miles across the bay) and that just made me laugh* to think about driving all the way across the island and back to almost the same spot but there you have it. The drive was beautiful in any case and although it’s an active logging road with several clearcut areas on it, there are also many stands of silver birch and some rivers and lakes. On our way out we saw some beautiful deer in the trees.

*Now that I’ve seen Revolution about how I’m not laughing anymore. Go and see it please, it’s important.

The cut

Diving in Barkley Sound has been on my radar for a while but there are no operators in the area any more so you have to team up with a trip going from somewhere else. We went with Amanda, a photographer I know, and Ogden Point and stayed in a cabin owned by the operator. The town is divided into east and west, with the west side only accessible by boat and has some interesting amenities – there’s the marine research station which puts on talks and events and a bunch of cat cabins built for the feral cat colony. It was my first time in Bamfield since I hiked the West Coast Trail in university and I had forgotten how beautiful it was. Of course back then I didn’t even get out into the sound, which is where I really fell in love. By the end of the weekend I was noting prices and locations of cabins for sale. It’s a bit far from Seattle but I’m still thinking about it.

Undersea garden

Underwater was even more beautiful. Incredible surge on the first dive so that when we were sometimes moving 6-9″ back and forth through the water, and rounding the rock to swim through the cut where the surf anemones are, we were flung through so quickly that all we saw was the wall of green. I was tempted to go around and do it again but surge in another direction pushed me too far up to the surface (this was a very shallow dive) and I saw a wall of mussels and kelp blocking my way back down again so I waited for Talia and we went over to the another rock for a similar ride. I described it afterwards as like being at the aquarium and Playland at the same time and kept giggling into my regulator I was having so much fun. The rest of the dives were considerably calmer (although far from flat) with still the same amount of colour. Pink and purple urchins up against blue and orange sunstars, bat stars, leather starts, lime green surf anemones, soft purple corals, pink and purple hydrocorals, iridescent blue seaweed, green eelgrass and red-tinged kelp, huge abalone, lurid orange scallops, nudibranchs the size of rabbits and so many more things.

Orcas

For dinner the first night we had a moose roast (my first time eating moose) and then we were back out again in the morning for more of the same underwater splendours. A huge sea lion came and played with us for a while, jumping completely out of the water three times after we had surfaced to see where we were at, and then on our way to the next dive site, we encountered the orcas and spent some time with them before moving on. In every photo of me coming out of the water, I have a big grin on my face. It was just so incredible and I can’t wait to go back. Our captain described the sound as a place where you could dive every day for a year and still not dive the same site twice (see my earlier comment about buying a property there).

Beautiful BC

A friend described it as a perfect B.C. vacation (especially if I could have snuck in a trip to Whistler!) and it was just so wonderful to spend that much time out on the water surrounded by amazing beauty with some great people. I’m very grateful.

Here are all of the photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/degan/sets/72157633215145771/

Beware the Ides

March

We were in Seattle last week, for Matt’s first week at Amazon. He had to come down for orientation and other meetings and I tagged along for a change of scenery. I came because I love Seattle and while I’ve been to this city more times than I can count, it’s usually only for a couple of days – a business trip or a concert or something like that. The opportunity to spend a week down there, working remotely and checking out neighbourhoods and cafes and wandering around was too much for me to pass up.

And I came because I thought the change of scenery would make the transition a little easier. Matt’s started a job, in an office, so that’s obviously a big change for him but it affects me pretty profoundly as well. We’ve been working together for almost 2 years now and for the last year that’s been out of our home. I’ve gotten used to sitting beside him at our desk all day so tomorrow when I sit down and start work by myself it’s going to feel a little weird. And then there is Adience, which I am running now. So much is different and a lot of things are up in the air. What do I do with my day? With my company? Do we move to Seattle? If so, when? Where? When can I pack? They have handlers for this kind of thing but who handles the handler? It’s in my blood (or at least my neuroses) to collect information and organize and plan. I’m looking at a spreadsheet of Seattle with the things I want to see divided up by Neighbourhood, Time of Day, and Rating. I’m good at this. What I’m not good at is waiting. No one ever called me patient and being poised to go in one of 16 different directions at any moment is a special kind of awful. Never mind Caesar’s foretelling about the ides, what gets me is the uncertainty.

We’ll know more soon, we keep saying, but for now we’re in Seattle. Or at least we were.

Seattle is so grey. Dishwater grey. Tom Robbins, local author and the envy of weathermen describes the sky as like “the color of Edgar Allen Poe’s pajamas” or “cottage cheese that had been dragged nine miles behind a cement truck,” or “passages from Les Miserables, threadbare and gray.” He’s so right – I’m from Vancouver and I’m telling you that this place is grey. Somehow I didn’t notice how persistent it was before. But at least it didn’t rain much, so I’ve been able to go running in the morning and explore some neighbourhoods that I’d previously only driven though. I like it a lot. It’s impossible not to compare it with Vancouver, as two large North American cities on the wet coast are cut from a very similar cloth but there are as many differences as similarities. It’s grittier, with more old neighbourhoods, old neon and ghost walls because they haven’t torn down all of their old buildings. There’s more art, but also more traffic. There’s lots of Mexican food, but not so much Chinese, Japanese or Korean. Our aquarium is better but theirs has a more awesome Great Pacific Octopus tank. Our music doesn’t compare with what happens in Seattle garages and oh, how I love Happy Hour.

These are my neighbourhood-specific notes and thoughts. The rest of the photos are on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/degan/sets/72157632980537281/.

Fresh

Boardwalk

  • Downtown: Not a candidate for neighbourhoods we would live in (or even that are new to me, for that matter), but an area that I’ve spent a lot of time in, because that’s usually where I’ve stayed. I went running through downtown a couple of times (and realized just how steep those hills really are) and visited the library quickly before checking out Pike Place Market, a place that I try to make a point of going to regularly – to check out what’s in season or to get a snack. This time I also went to the Seattle Aquarium for the first time and was a bit disappointed in the layout and some of the displays but as I mentioned above, they have a very prominent octopus tank with an octopus “crossing” and the most active Great Pacific Octopus I’ve ever seen, in captivity or out. I don’t know if that’s normal for it (they do do a public feeding there) but it was worth the price of admission and the migraine from the screaming children. We also ate downtown one night, at RN74, a Michael Mina steakhouse. The cocktails were some of the best we had all week and the food was good too but I think I’d rather just sit in the lounge and snack next time.

Ballard

  • Ballard: I spent the early morning walking along the water and visiting the locks before settling into a cafe on the high street. Ballard has a busy main street with a movie theatre, a Walgreens, lots of coffee shops and restaurants, etc. and then an historic area with boutique shops, restaurants and bars that reminds me a lot of Gastown. People were nice, although the wifi in the cafe was close to unusable and everywhere I wanted to eat was either closed for lunch or closed on Mondays (or both). I had lunch at Bitterroot, a BBQ and smoker restaurants and then Matt and I went back for dinner at Ocho which is a Spanish tapas place that makes their own amaro and absinthe and has a tiki cocktail party on Monday nights. Our friends from Canada who now live in Seattle called it “squeaky clean” in terms of crime but with its working shipyard and metalworking mixed in with both boutique and mainstream businesses, it felt more real to me than Gastown somehow. It’s pretty far from downtown over only one bridge, and not super close to the freeway either but I liked it the best.

Bowl

  • Capitol Hill: Grungy and gritty but lots of cool shops and restaurants. This is the neighbourhood that I’ve spent the most time in so I know it pretty well but that just means it has some of my favourite places in it; Quinn’s, Canon Whiskey and Bitters Emporium, Barrio and Tango. It’s fully of art galleries and tattoo shops and an excellent bookstore. Because I’m usually here in the evening, I wanted to check it out in the day time and went to Boom Noodle for lunch. It was my first foray into Seattle Japanese and not bad, but a pan-Japanese chain is only going to be so good. Afterwards I took a wander through Melrose Market, which is as close a thing to something I think every neighbourhood should have –  butcher, cheese shop, sandwich shop, flower shop, full service bar and wine shop, cocktail bar and a small restaurant. I could totally live here. It seems unlikely that we would find a place with a garage in such an urban hood, but not impossible. Close to downtown and freeways.

Fremont

  • Fremont: Quirky and cool with lots of public art projects and a couple of good restaurants. It has one of my favourite restaurants in it – Revel – but I didn’t go there this time. Instead I decided to continue on the Japanese theme and checked out Chiso for happy hour which was an actual disappointment. a gift from the chef of some marinated salmon and onions that was okay but not meant to be cold, followed by a roll and actual bite size pieces of sashimi that I liked the idea of for a snack but the chef seemed drunk and no one thought it was unreasonable that it took 20 minutes for the gyoza to arrive. For dinner I grabbed a sandwich from Paseo but I think I can only handle one giant, incredibly sloppy sandwich a week and I had already had a pulled pork sandwich and a cheesesteak by this point. Fremont felt a lot like Commercial Drive to me, there’s a used bookstore but not too many stores and although I didn’t see anything noteable, I got the feel that there is a strong sense of community here. Close to downtown and freeways.

Gasworks Park

  • Wallingford: I’m sort of lumping Wallingford in with Fremont, except that it’s more residential and closer to the university. I didn’t eat there or do any wandering but I did drive through it a couple of times. Close to downtown and freeways.
  • Montlake: A residential area pretty close to downtown that our friends recommended we check out. I only drove through it so didn’t see a high street but the houses were nice and didn’t seem too ostentatious, so that’s all good. Plus it’s close to the dive shop.
  • Green Lake: Pretty far from downtown but a truly beautiful neighbourhood centred around a lake with lots of activity on it – boats, joggers, dogs, etc. It’s also close to the dive shop and freeways but I didn’t see any shops and the only restaurant I saw was a generic Chinese (i.e.: white people Chinese) restaurant in a pagoda shaped building, so it might be too much of a transition for us (me).
  • Madrona: I set out determined to like Madrona because it’s a cool name and the name of an excellent dive site in Nanaimo and also because they have a full service wine bar and shop, which is another thing awesome about the America that we can’t have here, but it turned out to be very residential and moneyed. The streets are beautiful with large shade trees and shore access and I can’t wait to come through here on the Ducatis but I don’t feel like it would suit us at all.

Mezcaleria Oaxaca

  • Queen Anne: Do not like. Lots of churches, lots of gift shops, lots of self-righteous stuck up women who don’t really work. Is it fair to say that? I had an awesome lunch at the Mezcaleria Oaxaca and then spent some time checking out the high street before settling into a cafe to work. The first gift shop was Christian and no one made eye contact. The second gift shop the owner and her staff were addressing how a pie cutter was the cutest thing they had seen in their LIVES but it was far too sharp to be in a drawer in case a child got a hold of it. The bookshop was full of  motivational books – although they did also have a copy of Lucky Peach – and I was about to buy a couple of items but the woman working behind the counter kept complaining about how she had to move her car every two hours and had already gotten two $100 parking tickets that month (the free parking on the street is limited to 2 hours, for short-term visitors. There are parkades available for people who are willing to pay for them). Very steep hills (which means views) and nice houses. It’s ostensibly close to downtown and freeways, but only on certain streets. I got turned around three times trying to get there (albeit without a map).

Belltown

  • Belltown: We ate at Mama’s Mexican Kitchen with some friends which I’ve been to before and is decent. The decor is eclectic and fun and two grandfather guitarists were making the rounds singing to the crowd. Afterwards we went to The Rabbit Hole for some whiskey and skeeball. Skeeball! I asked Matt before we left if I should change but he was too bagged from work to play so we’ll have to go back. Also I want to take him to SPUR – a gastropub I love – and some of the other speakeasies around there. Close to downtown and freeways but it’s both a little too polished and gritty for my liking. We’re up to our ears in gentrification in Gastown and it would be nice to take a break from that for a while.


the Bahamas

8482769222_79b2c0a9ad_h (1)

Boaters have a saying that if you’re lucky, you go to the Exumas when you die. Not only had I not heard that saying before we booked our trip, I hadn’t even heard of the Exumas. But after spending a week on board Blackbeard’s MV Morningstar, a 65″ sloop sailed by Captain Red and an excellent crew, I feel like there may be something to it. There are  365 cays and islands in the Exumas chain alone with any number of coves and reefs to explore – and yes, the water really is that colour.

photo

It was our first liveabord experience so we were a little startled when we saw that 29 people (23 guests – and all their gear – plus 6 crew) were going to be sharing such a small space but we soon got into the routine of getting up early, getting in the water, and exploring. By evening we were so spent from exercise, heat, fresh air and the early hour of darkness that it only took a beer or two to send us off to bed.

db

I would have liked to see some more and bigger sharks but it was a great trip and we had so much fun with our friends. It was an excellent intro into what it can be like at sea and on a liveabord, as well as some more diving experience for Matt. Some other firsts:

  • Matt’s first (and several more) shark sighting
  • Matt’s first time in a blue hole (below)
  • Our first time traveling with someone else, my awesome dive buddy Talia (who took that photo of me, above).

mw

It set the stage for some exciting trips that we’re already planning for next year but I’d also like to make it an annual thing where we travel somewhere warm with some awesome people and without any internet access. Here are all of the photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/degan/sets/72157632793337412/

walterses

Sunlight on the Water

Sunlight on the water

Today it has been 10 years since my mom died. It feels like a big day and I want to spend it doing something big to commemorate her. My sister and I talked about going back to Venice where we scattered her ashes, but over this years that plan has faded and instead I got back from the Bahamas late last night on a completely unrelated trip. In past years, on her birthday and mother’s day and the anniversary of her death, I’ve looked through photo albums or bought flowers and carried them around with me or threw them in the ocean, not entirely sure what to do. Usually I make a point of wearing the locket she gave me and end up at the beach – a place that was special to both of us – in contemplative silence, worrying the cool weight of the silver…but what I really want is to talk about her.

A lot of time has passed and while the grief has faded like everyone said it would, her death changed my life. Before she died I thought nothing bad would ever happen, or at least I imagined bad things happening in kind of a benign, abstract way. Life was golden. So it seems fitting that when I remember her, I remember sunlight. She was an incredibly warm person and she radiated that light in photographs and in person; when she smiled (which was often), when she fell over sideways from laughing (also frequently), when she was waving to me from the table in the restaurant where we met for wine on Fridays (I was always late so she was always there) or when she opened the door with a flourish of excitement when I came for dinner. Helen is Greek for “shining light” and it seems to me that she was always smiling. I know that can’t be true – no one smiles all the time, but when I think about her, I still feel warm. That hasn’t faded.

helen

Many other details have. I am losing the hard edges of memory and they details are overlapping on themselves as they disintegrate with time, like sunlight dancing on water. At one moment you see your reflection and then it’s gone in a glint of light or maybe the flash of a fish just below the surface.

It gets a bit complicated because while I do conisider her very much my mom, I’m adopted and she was my birth mother so I also have an adopted mom who I love with much. It matters because I met Helen as an adult and I only knew a couple of her friends well. Most of them I’ve completely lost contact with and very few of the friends I had then are still around. Stupidly I never introduced her to my adoptive family. So when I want to talk about her I have to rely on myself. I am frustrated with myself for forgetting but I haven’t been telling stories. There has been too many years of not talking about her and so I will start now with what I have left – her smile and her light.

When I was connected with her through the adoption agency, I wasn’t sure who she would be or what I was getting myself into but I did know that I did not need another adult to judge and criticize me. I agonized over that letter (possibly even more than I did over this blog post) but finally decided that I had nothing to lose and wrote everything out in detail. I tried to tell the whole story of who I was with my whole heart and when she wrote back full of warmth and love, I finally felt understood. I felt like I had come home. We met at the boulder on White Rock Beach and sat there talking until it was dark and cold – then we went to a cafe and talked until it closed. Matt is the only other person in my life that I’ve felt this close and connected to. I miss her so much.

 

Shiny New Year / New Blog

bokeh

Well it’s 2013 and I have started another blog. I wasn’t entirely convinced I was going to see either of those happen because I was so incredibly burnt out last year, and well…I have a lot of blogs. But it’s a new year and even though I often stare dumbfounded at people who stop conversations at otherwise interesting parties to count down a completely arbitrary 10 seconds, there is something revitalizing about the start of a new year. I’m looking forward to getting a dog and getting back into shape, continuing to do lots of diving and riding and any new adventures that come our way.

And now I have a new place to record them all! It seems very odd, starting a personal blog in 2013. I had one once, way back in 2001, that I hand-coded it myself called cultofdegan.com. It was as complete  of an “all about me” site as you could ask for, with a list of what I was reading, my mood at the time of posting, all my vacation photos as well as a manual archive system and monthly rotating quote bar (also manual) – which could possibly explain the lack of regular posting. It was the time of GeoCities and MySpace and claiming your small section of the internet to put up whatever cat videos or unicorns or whatever you felt like because it was YOUR page! We didn’t care about privacy or spelling or the possibility that our “adventures” would be a part of the internet archive forever.

But here I am again and I admit, I do like having everything in one place. I’m not promising it’ll be regular or interesting but we’ll see how it goes.

mace

January always feels like a transitional month to me. Just a little too busy after the fatigue of the holidays while you’re also trying to go to the gym and eat well and trying to remember where you put your work files or what your days were like before starting them with Baileys. We made some cassoulet for the Gastown SocialBites event which is always a lot of fun making food for strangers (who are actually often our friends) and Maceo has been sick for the first time since we’ve had her so we’ve been back and forth to the vet a couple of times. Hopefully it’s not serious but we still don’t know what’s wrong with her.

Matt is off to Ontario and then Seattle this week so I’ll be hanging out with the cat, getting ready for my art class and the madness of being away from our company, the internet and stores while we’re on a dive trip in the Bahamas next month.